REI

9/27/23

Jackson, WY

To sum up today’s activities in the simplest form, it would be listed as:

• Visiting REI

• Buying lunch at Albertsons

• Driving through Teton National Park for about 45 minutes

• Driving through Yellowstone National Park for about 45 minutes

With my habit of lazy mornings, and the day mostly ending as soon as the sun sets over the horizon, the days have passed somewhat uneventfully.

My visit to REI can be broken down further into the following:

• I arrive, purely intent on buying a new coffee mug and nothing else. Hannah says she’ll stay in the car so she doesn’t get tempted to buy anything. I think that won’t happen to me. With me, I have a coupon for 20% off an entire purchase, $40 off a purchase of $200 or more, and a pair of walkie talkies I purchased for $40 last November, which I have been meaning to return ever since.

• I walk in, the only customer in a small store with roughly 10 employees. I find the two mugs available. One is stainless steel for $34 (or $24, but still way more than I wanted to spend) and one blue plastic, unpriced. Completely what I wanted except from the color. I’ve lost too many things that blend into the environment. Earth tones, dark colors. I was looking for a yellow one, ideally. I purchase neither one.

• I take a look around the store, looking for any used gear. I see none, but find a sales rack of shoes. On top are two pairs of beautiful new mountaineering boots. Remarkably, both in my size (EU 46). I try them on, for fun mostly. Retailing for $319 and $329, after 30% off they come to around $230. I figure that, plus a $40 off $200 coupon, it would result in a satisfactory savings, and put them within my intended budget for mountaineering boots.

(A note to the reader. I am recounting this visit to REI purely for entertainment for myself, and for the reader. As a bargain hunter I should probably know by now to avoid brand new items from REI in the first place.)

• I go back out to the car to think about the decision. I look up reviews of both boots. I realize I have to poop.

• I go inside the store for a second time and ask for the bathroom. I look at the reviews while in the bathroom. I also look up REI’s return policy on outdoor electronic. 90 days. I purchased these walkie talkies almost 10 months ago. I figure if they somehow accept the return, I will buy a pair of boots. But I can’t decide which ones.

• I go out to the car again, and retrieve my walkie talkies from the car.

• I walk into the store a third time, and walk up to the register to attempt a return. Somehow, they decide to give me a full refund “just this once.” With no threatening from my end.

• I circle back around to go look at the boots again. One pair is perfect. Stiff, warm, weatherproof. But the other pair is bright yellow and extremely sexy. Low cut boot with an attached gaiter zippered over the drawstring laces. Less stiff, less warm, less ankle support, but lighter and super cool. Labeled as the same model, but the SPD (speed) version. After a lot of back and forth, I decide on the first pair, as function usually wins out while mountaineering.

• I bring them to the cash register, much to the excitement of the two employees working the shoe section. They deduct the 30%, and then I give them the code for the $40 off, and it doesn’t go through.

• I tell them I’ll pass, and I walk out without the shoes.

Now, I understand that 30% is a good discount for brand new boots in my size. The thing is, I don’t care about the boots. I care about being able to stack coupons. I walked out more on principle. Do I even want to do business with a company that won’t allow me to find (seemingly obvious) loop-holes in their discount offers?

See, if you are a member at REI, you get a 10% refund on all full-price purchases once a year in the form a dividend. Meaning if you buy anything, you’re getting 10% off. Any time REI puts out a coupon, it’s always going to be 20% off. But in place, not in addition, to the member refund. So it really only works out to 10% off more than you would usually spend. Even the $40 off coupon is only 20% off, or less if the item is much more than $200. 10% is nothing if you’re looking for a deal. So, because you're not allowed to stack, the best you’ll ever get is 30% off, which I was offered. But I hope you can understand my frustration.